Breakfast of Champions

Breakfast when I was employed.

Breakfast when I am unemployed.

Just some food for thought :)

"You have one message..."

I miss coming home to the single, solitary red blinking light of an answering machine. The joy of being the first to come home and check the machine. It was exhilarating! That feeling has since been upgraded or even replaced every year or so with a new piece of technology.

First came pagers. (I was obsessed with the movie Clueless when pagers were hot and insisted on getting a white one to match the one Cher's best friend Dee had :) Next came cell phones. I remember my first one. Answering machines were still being used at this point. But now you got to check your voicemail AND your machine messages. Next emails became really important. Communication seemed to go digital over night. What was once a phone call or meeting in person became replaced with a quick email.

Text messages would soon be all the rage. I don't even remember getting my first text message or who it was from. I think it was in the latter part of college. Soon Facebook and My Space began rivaling phone calls, emails, and even the prestigious text messages for our attention. I remember when I first got on My Space. I was completely, 100% obsessed. It was almost unhealthy. Now, I am over My Space and am in love with Facebook. It has become the virtual Gossip Girl, especially since they recently (much to my dismay) changed the layout, and now every post, note, etc is made public on your Home page.

The latest craze is Blackberry Messaging. It is basically an instant message/text message type system that is free to all Blackberry users. I scoffed it at first and now communicate regularly with my fellow Blackberry toting friends. No more phone calls...it's Blackberry messaging all the way folks. A small red light blinks on your phone every time you have an email, voicemail, text, Blackberry message, etc. So, what was once a lovely red light blinking on your answering machine has become an annoying red light that blinks incessantly almost 24 hours per day. (I have tried to find a way to turn this feature off but have been unable to do so.)

I guess I just miss having only one form of communication to check. I can sympathize with the girls on He's Just Not That Into You when they talk about how in dating you are now possibly rejected by up to 7 forms of communication instead of just one. With everyones' business made public online, it is impossible just to be. I miss the simple days of racing home to find out if I had any messages on my machine...to see if he called, or if someone was thinking of me. I fear what will happen to the next generation of mass communication users. Will they even know how to mail a letter or pick up the telephone?

That being said, I guess it's time to close. My little red light is blinking...

Dear John

As some of you know, I was recently laid off from my job. It came as quite a shock to me despite the current state of the economy. That being said, here is my "Dear John" letter to all of the employers I have ever had.

Dear John,

Greetings from Planet Elle. I hope this finds you well, although I doubt that it does. You no longer have me as your employee and have most likely crawled under your desk to assume the fetal position until another fun-loving, fashionable, and creative type comes along. Planet Elle is a lovely place where I get to sleep in, take long walks with my dog, and work out as much (or as little) as I want to. The colors are brighter, the air is fresher, and my step is signficantly lighter. I do what I want to do when I want to do it, and the only person I have to answer to is God. I am the CEO, Commander in Chief, and Senior Vice President of Social Activities on Planet Elle. (Georgia will replace me for all aforementioned titles in the event that I have to return to Earth AKA Corporate America to resume my role as the low woman on the totem pole.)

While living on Planet Elle is nothing short of magical, my bills and rent must still be paid. I know that I have to return to Earth at some point and hope to do so with a company I respect and hold dear to my heart. My recent departure from my last employer was not a slap in my face-it was the exact opposite. It was the push I needed to find something I am passionate about...a job that captures who I am and what I believe in. I long to go to work each day excited to do my job because I truly care about what I am doing. I realize that in this economy I might have to take a job that I don't like, but dreams are always encouraged on Planet Elle. That's why I love it here :)

Since entering the working world about 6 years ago, I have always felt like I was a bird being held captive by my wings by my employer du jour. I yearned to break free but was never allowed to do so. At my most recent vocation, I at least was given a small cage to fly around in. Eight days ago I got to fly out of my cage where I flew all the way home. I felt as light as a hummingbird and as powerful as an eagle. I have been given the chance to finally do something that I want to do. It might not be anytime soon, but it will happen. I am fiercely determined to make some pretty amazing lemonade out of some pretty lousy lemons. It might not be the best time to make lemonade, but all things are possible with God on my side and my personal drive to succeed.

For now, I am contuining to float around Planet Elle without a care in the world. I know that I will be forced to return to Earth in the near future. Or at least I know I have to since someone has to pay for this incredible planet's existence. Until then, I am stopping to smell the roses and enjoying all things that are free. I am marveling in a sunny afternoon at the dog park with Georgia and a night of watching movies at home. Phone calls with friends and time spent with family have taken on a whole new meaning.

So, dear John, I want to thank you. This former flightless bird has finally flown off to a much better and more lovely place. I am soaring along with God and Georgia by my side.

With love,

Elle

All the single ladies...

Single ladies beware: If your married/engaged/taken friends offer to "talk to guys for you and introduce you to them," please heed my warning. This is a dangerous trap!!! Do not do as I do every single time and fall victim to their selfless offer to do this. They almost always have a hidden agenda to flirt with, dance with, take shots with cute single guys under the guise of helping out their poor single girl friend. Trust me, this is 100% true. I learned this the hard way during a recent trip to NYC.

My married friend Liz (love you Liz!!!) and I met up with two of her married friends from DC for a night out after our dinner at the lovely Artisinal (2 Park Place, New York City, NY.) Her friends couldn't wait to "help me meet guys." They both have young children and hadn't been out in months. These girls were fun, and I couldn't wait to see what the night had in store for us. We bar hopped around the Village and finally ended up at Brass Monkey, a NY hot spot for young singles. After waiting for about 15 minutes in the (literally) freezing cold weather (good thing I had my faux fur jacket to keep me warm ;), we were finally inside ready to scope out the men.

I couldn't believe how many cute guys there were inside...I had hit the jackpot. We immediately went to the bar for some additional liquid courage. Liz's friends asked me to point out the cutest guy in the room and assured me I would be chatting with him in no time. I sat down at the bar vodka tonic in hand and excitement filled my every pore as they approached Bachelor #1. Sure enough, they escorted him over to me in record time. They introduced me to him, and I started chatting him up. No sooner had I asked him where he was from, when one of Liz's friends pulled him up to her and started a deep conversation with him. EXCUSEZ-MOI??? I think not. Since I am a sweet Southern girl, I let the married woman have her fun. There were plenty of other fish in the sea that night.

The other friend, having seen what happened, asked me to find another guy I would want to talk to. I spied Bachelor #2 from across the bar and pointed him out to her. She practically ran over to him and introduced herself. After a few minutes of flirting, I mean talking, she brought him over to me. "Joe, this is Elle," she says. "Hi, Joe. How's it going?" I ask. The words had barely left my mouth when she turns her back to me and begins an animated conversation with him. Strike #2.

Thankfully a very cute Australian boy sat down next to me, and we talked for a few minutes. Unfortunately, he was there with a seemingly under aged female posse who shot a wide variety of death glares at me throughout our conversation. Strike #3...and I was out.

My three strikes happened after all 4 of us were drooling over the yummy bartender Jason. I would never actually want to date a bartender (just b/c you probably can't trust them), but they are always fun to flirt with and valuable people to know. I tried my best to talk to him, but the other married girls kept pushing me out of the conversation.

Therefore, I now adamantly REFUSE to let my married/non-single friends introduce me to guys in this type of setting. After the escapades in NY, I made a promise to myself to do my own matchmaking when I am out. Single ladies, join me now and stand up to the non-single girls who just want to have fun at YOUR expense. This is inappropriate, selfish behavior, and we need to take a stand against it. I am all about my non-single friends introducing me to guys when we are out if it is completely innocent on their part...I have just never seen it happen. And remember, every time you treat your single girl friend like this, there is another single girl out there flirting with your husband...

Same girl, different city?

I went to NYC this past weekend for some much needed R & R. And by R & R, I mean wining and dining, shopping, seeing a show, going to MoMa, etc :) It was nothing short of fabulous. Of course, it brought up the ongoing question in my life-should I move there? I have been contemplating a move for some time now. You see, if you know me, you will know that I like to move. I moved to Tucson, AZ to attend the University of Arizona when I was 18 years old. Then I moved to Athens to attend the University of Georgia. Next, I moved to lovely Charleston, SC in the hopes that I would live the dream seaside. With a much younger and unsettled boyfriend in tow, I moved to Atlanta where I now reside (sans le boyfriend, thank goodness). This May will mark two years since I last moved. It is time to move again.

I don't know why I seem to live such a nomadic lifestyle. Even when I am living in the same city for several years, I tend to move at least once/year if not more often. I guess I just like the idea of a fresh start in a new place. Am I running from something? When I was younger (i.e. 18, 19, and 23), that was most definitely the case. Now that I am older (and I would like to think wiser), I am in constant search of well, ME. I used to be on a 24/7 man-hunt. I have mostly given up on that idea and have decided to re-focus the search party on finding my true self. Am I am girl or a woman? Am I a Bible beater or someone who knows their beliefs but lets others chose for themselves? Do I want to live at the beach or in the city? Do I want to try to have children or adopt? Am I a glamazon or boho chic? Who am I?

I do know that I crave adventure, travel, and meeting new people. I want to see, do, love, learn, dance, sing, walk, swim, and GROW. I want to walk out the door and not know who I am going to meet that day and what is going to happen to me. I yearn for excitement, for romance, and for stones left unturned. Could the next chapter in my life be in the most exciting city in the world? We will all have to wait and see. My only fear is that I will still be the same girl in a different city. I want to meet the next Elle...the 28 year old Elle who dreams, loves, and lives life to the fullest.

You've Got Mail

I have been contemplating writing this blog for quite some time now as I knew it might be a touchy subject for some people. I just have one question for the general public: "WHERE HAVE YOUR MANNERS GONE???" It is in all caps because I am extremely perturbed when I think about this topic. I feel like I can't have a conversation or share a meal with someone without that person either a) answering their phone, b) texting someone, c) checking their email, or d) all of the above. I admit that I am guilty of this at times, but there are many people out there (some of whom are my close friends) who are repeat offenders. I can think of countless meals in the past few months where the person I am with looks at their phone more than they look at me. Trust me, this is not some case of extreme narcissism. I don't need the person I am with to stare at me throughout the entire meal. I would just like them to be more engaged in the conversation we are having than who has written on their Facebook wall. I'm not knocking good ole FB either...however, there is a time and a place for that sort of thing and during dinner with your friend is not it.

I can't decide what the root cause of said behavior is. Possible explainations are as follows.

1) The person really is extremely busy, and I should feel lucky to be dining with them. (This is only reserved for key political figures and CEO types.)
2) The person has low self-esteem and feels the need to check all forms of communication to feel better about himself/herself.
3) The person is just plain RUDE and lacks proper etiquette.

For most people I know, it seems to be a combination of #s 2 and 3. While I think iPhones are extremely cool, I would like to have a come to Jesus talk with whoever invented adding email to cell phones. I bet he/she cannot get through one meal without checking their precious email.

To sum it all up, I am not against these advanced forms of technology. It enables me to "work" from remote locations such as Phipps Plaza, the pool, and my bed. That being said let's all try harder to check our email/voicemail/Facebook/Blackberry chat less and check in with each other more often.

13 Going on 30

As I was driving today, I stumbled upon a question...am I 13 Going on 30? Am I a woman, a girl, or a strange mix of a woman-child? I have recently become obsessed with the Twilight Saga, a series of books intended for teenagers. Pink and purple are two of my favorite colors, and if I could put hearts over my i's at work, I would. When I stood in line for 3 hours to vote last month, I noticed that I was dressed the same as the 18 year old girl standing in line in front of me. We both had on a fleece jacket, jeans, and Uggs tucked into our jeans. We also like the same TV shows and shop at the same stores. I love it when my coworkers' teenage daughters come into the office because we can chat about fashion, the latest song, and what happened last week on Gossip Girl. Did I miss the bridge to adulthood, or am I just stuck in a carefree time of my life refusing to grow up?

Truth be told I don't really like being an adult. I would rather spend my hard-earned money on clothes, books, food, and other assorted items that are not necessities. I like staying up late and sleeping in. I like giggling, singing and dancing in public places, and eating candy/dessert as a meal. For Thanksgiving dinner I had pizza and a cupcake. I did have wine, my one adult behavior. I became a professional drinker in high school and have retained the title ever since then. The more I think about it, the more I realize that I was very mature when I was younger. I always had older friends and had extremely specific career goals all throughout high school and college. I suppose the older I get, the more I see that I don't like. I don't like to pay bills, I don't like having a full-time office job, and I certainly don't like to sit still and be quiet. I do like having no one watching my every move and being able to eat cupcakes for supper. So, perhaps I have the best of both worlds...I can be a responsible adult when I need to and still skip through life with my arms stretched out and a smile on my face. For now, I love being 13 going on 30.