Thursday, January 28, 2010

Restless spirit

"Fear is a darkroom where negatives develop." (Usmin B. Asif)

What do you fear? My number one tangible fear in life is snakes...I hate them with every bone in my body. I have a small panic attack anytime I see one. Even though I live in the middle of a city, I see them more often that you would think when I am out walking my dog.

On a more serious note, my greatest fear is failure. I'm scared that I will never settle into a career where I can blossom. I fear that I will never fall in love again. Most of all, I fear that I will continue to wander through life unsure of what my next step should be. A friend of mine recently said to me "You've always been our restless spirit." This was a few months ago, and her words continue to haunt me. I feel like a butterfly that continuously flies around stopping only when something catches my eye and causes me to ground myself temporarily. I "flew" to Atlanta 2.5 years ago and started feeling the urge to resume my flight pattern about one year ago. Time will only tell where my next stop will be. Various little birds keep landing around me, whispering "New York" before flying off. One day, I hope I can follow them into the sunset knowing that I am about to land where I have always wanted to be.

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